In 1 Corinthians 3 Paul is addressing divisions in the church about some who follow him and some who follow Apollos. Paul is trying to reason with them that he and Apollos are just laborers, mere servants of God who brings fruit to their labor. So when he gets to verse 9 and states, “We are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building,” he is saying that we as believers are the product, the fruit of God’s work in our life—as if God is the farmer and we are the crop. Now, in my search for a connection between husband and farmer I have a spiritual version of this relationship. The next place I turn is my Interlinear Greek-English New Testament that has the Greek text on one line, and a word for word English translation on the line underneath. I find here that the original Greek word for “field/husbandry” is georgion. (Seen in this word is the root word for earth “geo” as in geography, geology, etc.) From my Interlinear I now get to my Greek Lexicon where I can look up this word and find other places where it is used in the New Testament, which it’s not, except for the occurrence in 1 Cor. 3. However, it is related to the root word of husbandman (georgos), which is used in a few other verses in the New Testament. Interestingly, I find that the word husbandman—the one connected with being a farmer—is associated with labor in 2 Timothy 2:6, and patience in James 5:7. Imagine that, as a husband I need to labor with patience!
Sweetheart, I want to labor with patience as I serve you. We have been through some really hard times; even times when we didn’t know if our marriage would make it early on. Thank you for your patience with me as I try to become the man God has for me to be. I want to offer you that same patience. You have my commitment to always labor for you and our marriage. I always want to be given over to the process of renewal and change that comes by the Holy Spirit in my life so that I can work towards being the husband you deserve.
For me gardening has been a hobby that I have enjoyed for the past eight years or so. I get it from my grandpa who originally sparked my interest in it, and who has an oasis for a backyard. My biggest gardening projects have been planning and installing the landscape for our new home, learning how to care for orchids, and replacing some shrubs at our old house with azaleas. Putting the azaleas in was the biggest outdoor gardening project that I had taken on at that point. Up to then it had mainly been putting in seasonal flowers and such. I really wanted to make sure that I got things right with the new azaleas so I spent time doing some research. I started by asking my grandpa who had a lot of experience with azaleas having lived in East Texas for a few years, I also checked the internet, and asked questions of the local plant nursery.
Sweetheart, I want you to be my biggest research project. I want to know what is special to you and what makes you feel special, precious and unique. I want to be able to make time just to listen to you and observe your life so that I know how to step into your world and make feel the most loved. I want to know how to speak love to you, how to meet the emotional and relational needs that are most important to you and draw you close to me.
First of all I had to wait—with much patience too, because with all the research I had done I was ready to get started on the project—until late fall when the plants would be least likely to suffer from shock. I learned they needed a certain type of soil and I would need to amend the heavy clay soil that is common to North Texas. I remember the hours of sweat and labor I put into tilling up the soil deeply so I could get a good mixture of all the amendments. I learned how to install the azaleas properly by breaking up the root balls a little, soaking them with root starter, and planting with a few inches of the root ball above the soil line. My grandpa was there of course to help give me some guidance, as well as my mom and grandma who all share the same enjoyment for gardening.
Once I got them planted I made sure they got the right amount of water and put together a small scale watering system for them. I made sure they got the right amount of light, and ended up needing to trim back a lot of branches from a large overhanging live oak. I also bought some specially formulated fertilizer for azaleas and read up on how much to apply and at which time of year to do so. From all of this, a few months later the next spring, I was rewarded with the most amazing display of blooms I have seen outside of a botanical garden. The six azalea bushes I planted had turned into spheres of flowers. The bushes were soft glowing orbs the color of amber, with hardly a sight of green because the leaves had been overrun with blooms. After so much effort into caring for those plants I was a proud gardener those few weeks that spring.
Sweetheart, to me you are more brilliant in your radiant beauty than a million blooming flowers a thousand seasons of spring over. Beautiful are the soft glow of the smile on your face, and the warm care of your tender heart. (You are also beautiful to me in ways that I won’t share publicly here ;) I want to make sure you bloom into the most incredible person whom God has created you to be. I want to continue to learn what makes you happy and fulfilled, and carry out the job of loving you like Christ loved the church. May I continue to brighten your life like our azaleas did at our old house, and like you have done for my life the past 10 years. You are more beautiful to me now than you were the day I married you. You are truly an incredible woman who fills me with awe.
I mentioned earlier that the biblical word which is translated as husbandman is used in connection with someone who tends to a vineyard. Matthew 21:33 recounts Jesus’ parable of the tenants in which God is the master of the house who plants a vineyard and leases it to “tenants” (husbandmen, georgos) to care for the vineyard. These tenants acted wickedly and beat, killed and stoned all whom the master sent to collect the fruit of the vineyard, tragically even killing his own son. This parable obviously points to how Israel and ultimately mankind has rejected God, crucifying his Son in an ultimate act of cold-hearted self exaltation. As I ponder the use of husbandman in this passage I understand there is no obvious connection to marriage, but I think the idea of respect and caring for another can be gleaned from this passage. We read in the parable that the master sent his son with the thought, “they will respect my son.” Imagine a different outcome of this parable if the husbandmen had respected the son and ultimately cared for their master’s vineyard in the way it should have been cared for. Perhaps, how we treat God is a connected to how we treat and care for others, especially our spouses. So, how I tend to my relationship with God directly effects how I will care for my wife.
Sweetheart, I want my relationship with God to lead my relationship with you. As I learn tenderness, grace and love from God I want to pass those on to you. I don’t want to rely on the spiritual reserves from my youth. You need a husband who is growing and fresh. I commit to seeking a faith in God that is always fresh and vibrant, and guard against a stale faith that isn’t pleasing to God. I pray that I will always be the spiritual leader for you and our kids that God wants for me to be.
Aside from these philosophical and theological considerations I want to examine the simple idea of a vineyard. There were lots of vineyards during the time of Jesus, and he used this parable because it was a common practice in that day for a wealthy landowner to lease out his vineyard to others who would care for it. According to my Bible dictionary vineyards had one primary purpose, to produce wine. Wine was considered a luxury drink, not for your common meal at dinner. The most common drink in Jesus’ time was water, usually drawn from a well or cistern, but there was something special about wine. It was served at times of celebration like the wedding in which Jesus turned water into wine. And the wine he miraculously created was no ordinary wine. It was said to be good wine, of the highest quality, which is typically served at the beginning of the feast when palettes are more discerning. The wedding was a special occasion in which sharing wine was an expression of joy in celebration. I believe God wants husbands to care for their wives in such a way that they add joy to the marriage, making life special and exceptional. Psalm 104:14-15 says “[God causes] plants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man.” A wife who is well cared for by her husband will be like wine to gladden his heart, filling his life with enjoyment and pleasure.
Sweetheart, thank you that in the midst of a life, that at times can seem as ordinary as a drink of water, you have been to me like an extraordinary wine. Thank you for the rich enjoyment that you have added to my life. Thank you for sharing moments with me that became all the more sweet because they were ours together. Thank you for the full-bodied texture that you give to our marriage, for the celebration that you bring to my life, for the sweet aroma life has with you. You gladden my heart and intoxicate me with your love. You have made my life more enjoyable and full of meaning than I could have ever imagined. I love you so much!
The previous verse from Psalm 104 speaks of wine and food that man is able to cultivate from the ground. As a husbandman the main focus was to bring forth a crop from the earth to produce food in order to provide him with sustenance to live. This brings us back to the verses in 2 Timothy and James which indicate that much labor and patience is required of the husbandman to bring about a good crop. A good husbandman knew that if he took care of his crops then his crops would take care of him. In the same way with marriage a good husband knows that if he takes care of his wife then his wife will take care of him. She will be a blessing and a helpmate providing sustenance to the life of their marriage.
The Old Testament uses three words to describe the kind of intimacy spouses should have in marriage: to know deeply, to reveal, and to know in order to care for. I think this last aspect of intimacy is crucial because it represents a compassionate, sacrificial love that gives life to a marriage. It carries with it the idea of caring for or tending to the other, much like a husbandman will tend to a crop. Husbands, you set the tone for your marriage. You cultivate the atmosphere between you and your wife. Do you find beauty in your wife? Tend to her with labor. Do you find enjoyment in life with her? Look after her with patience. Do you find energy from your marriage to face the challenges of life? Act with mercy and compassion to care for your wife. Wives, when your husbands care for you in ways like this then give him your beauty at it’s brightest, give him enjoyment that makes every day a special occasion, and give him nourishment that comes from your respect. God sets forth a beautiful cycle for marriage. Just as He provides rain to make a crop grow He will also bless your marriage with fullness of life as you enter into this cycle of care for each other. May God bless our marriages to grow into all that He has intended for them to be.
Sweetheart, thank you for the past 10 years of marriage you have given to me. I am so grateful to God for the life He has allowed us to build together. You have given me three amazing kids, and have proven to be just as incredible of a mom as you have been a wife; I love parenting with you. I can’t think of any good thing that I have experienced the past 10 years in which you haven’t been a part of in some way. As I envision our future together anything that I would want to accomplish has you at the very center. My heart overflows as I consider the next 10 years and all that God has in store for us. I love you with all my heart, and may our love continue to grow in brilliance with each moment that we share. Happy 10 year anniversary, Sweetheart!
